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Legal Stuffage
(a.k.a. Legal Terms And Conditions)

(yes we're beating our own drum!)

Amazing!

You actually came to this page.

Our lawyers made us include it. At first, we thought the lawyers were a real pain. But then we read the page. What a rude awakening! It’s really important stuff. We took the legalese the lawyers wrote and translated it into readable English. So be a smart Webhead and read the stuff on this page. It could prevent you from hearing from our lawyer, or worse yet, from really nasty people, like prosecutors. Here’s the deal: We created and run the McguinnessDesigns.com site so that people like you (and people you like) can use it to buy our stuffage, and/or for personal amazement, entertainment, information, education, communication, and cybergratification (not to mention all those warm and fuzzy things that come from using our Mcguinnessdesigns!). So go ahead and browse around all you like. You can even download and print stuffage from the site (if you can - we have made it hard!) but only for non-commercial, personal use, but not for your websites (that's a no-no!). If you do, though, don’t fool around with the copyright and other notices all over the stuff. They’re there for a really good reason. And don’t even think about distributing, modifying, transmitting, reusing, re-posting, or anything else uncool with any of the stuff, including text, images, audio, and video, for public or commercial purposes unless we (that's Tim) give you written permission. And it’s not likely we will (but better to ask than not!). If you visit our site, you’re also legally obligated to abide by [read: stuck with] the terms and conditions listed below and any other law or regulation that applies to the site, the Internet, and the World Wide Web, Florida, The United States , and or Planet Earth. You shouldn’t access or browse the site if you have any problem with that, because once you start, there’s no turning back, you are bound by [read: stuck with] the terms and conditions.

So here’s the scoop on our "Top Ten Rules for Precolumbian Cybersurfers" who hang out on our site:

1. For everyone’s sake, just assume that everything on the site is copyrighted unless we say it’s not. So you can’t use the stuff except how we say you can on this page or anywhere else on the site without our written permission. And like we said before, it’s not likely we’ll give you permission anyway. In fact, even if we wanted to, the lawyers are likely to veto any deal anyway. So it’s better you don’t even ask (ok, ask anyway, what the hell - honesty is always the best policy on the web since everything is indexed and eventually gets found out!).

2. While we try to include accurate stuff on the site, we’re not promising you it’s accurate. In fact, we’re not promising you anything except fun and entertainment. So if you make use of the stuffage (that's a McGuinnessism, feel free to repeat it to every one you know!) on the site, you’re using it at your own risk. Don’t call us if there’s a problem because we assume no liability or responsibility for errors or omissions on the site.

3. We and anybody else who helped us create, produce, or deliver the site are not liable for any damages you suffer when you use it. In particular, the lawyers want you to know that our disclaimer includes " direct, incidental, consequential, indirect, or punitive damages arising out of your access to, or use of, the site. Without limiting the foregoing, everything on the site is provided to you ‘AS IS’ WITHOUT WARRANTY OF ANY KIND, EITHER EXPRESSED OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO, THE IMPLIED WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY, FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE, OR NON-INFRINGEMENT. Please note that some jurisdictions may not allow the exclusion of implied warranties, so some of the above exclusions may not apply to you. Check your local laws for any restrictions or limitations regarding the exclusion of implied warranties." Ugh! What a mouthful from the mouthpieces. We put all of that in quotes because we couldn’t figure out any other way to say it that the lawyers would accept. But here’s the bottom line: we’re not responsible if you’re browsing around and the site damages you or your computer or infects it with any nasty viruses. We sure hope that doesn’t happen, but if it does, don’t call us (though we'd like to know just the same).  If on the other hand, good things result, drop us an email and tell us (we could use the good news from time to time!).

4. If you don’t want the world to know something, don’t post it (assuming we get around to have such a feature) on the site in any bulletin board or anyplace else. That’s because anything you disclose to us is ours. That’s right, ours. (So there!) So we can do anything we want with the stuff you post. We can reproduce it, disclose it, transmit it, publish it, broadcast it, and post it someplace else. We can even send it to your mother (as soon as we find her address). Not only that, we can even use any ideas, concepts, know-how, or techniques you post any way we want to, including developing, manufacturing, and marketing products, or other stuff using the information you post.

5. Pictures of people or places shown on the site are either our property or someone else’s property we’re using with their permission (God we sure hope so!). No matter what, it’s definitely not your property. You or any of your Webfriends can’t use it unless we said you can on this page or somewhere else on the site. So guess what, we won’t say yes. So be careful, because unauthorized use may violate all sorts of nasty laws. Be smart; keep the stuff you download or print to yourself.

6. There’s also a lot of copyrighted images, copyrighted text, trademarks, logos, and maybe even a few service marks on the site as well.  The following are trademarks of Tim McGuinness: McGuinnessDesigns.com™, McGuinnessDesigns™, Precolumbian Clipart™, Precolumbian Clipart Collection™, MAXclips™, Dr. Tim McGuinness™, and the words McGuinnessDesigns, McGuinnessDesigns.com, MAXclips, and Precolumbian clipart in stylized type.  The following are also trademarks of Tim McGuinness : RomanceCoupons™, RomanceCoupons.com™ and the words RomanceCoupons in stylized type.  So these are either stuff we own or we’re using with someone else’s permission. So don’t think you have any kind of license or right to use them, because you don’t and we’re not about to give you one. If you don’t leave them alone and mess with the copyrighted images, copyrighted text, trademarks, logos, and service marks on our site, we’ll probably go ballistic. So will the companies that own the other copyrighted images, copyrighted text, trademarks, logos, and service marks. That means that we’re likely to sue you or to ask a prosecutor to come after you for messing around with our property or the property of others (which would not be nice, but our lawyers would make us do it!).

7. You’ll probably notice we’ve linked our site to a lot of others. While that’s cool, it doesn’t mean we’ve looked at all those sites, much less checked them out periodically to see what’s going on. So don’t blame us if some site you link to is bad or has stuff on it that offends you, your pets, or somebody on some south sea island, much less the town of Kadina in South Australia. Go ahead and link, but remember, you’re doing it at your own risk.

8. That brings us to what you do on our own site. While we will occasionally listen in on chat groups (when we actually have them) or look at all the postings in our discussion groups or on bulletin boards (also when we have them, at least we think we'll have them sometime), we are not obligated to do so and we take no responsibility and assume no liability for the content of those locations or for any mistakes, defamation, libel, slander, omissions, falsehoods, obscenity, pornography, or profanity you might encounter when you visit such places on our site. And don’t be stupid by posting or transmitting any unlawful, threatening, libelous, defamatory, obscene, scandalous, inflammatory, pornographic, nasty, mean, or profane material or any material that law enforcement types may consider a criminal offense, get someone in court on a civil lawsuit, or for that matter violate any law anywhere, anytime. We would really be not impressed by that! While we certainly respect your privacy, we have no choice but to fully cooperate with any law enforcement authorities or court that asks us who might have posted nasty stuff on our site.  So ixney on the astyne!

9. We’re allowed to change this page or anything else on the site any time we want to. That’s because it’s ours and we have the programmers (us!) who can do it. If we do change the page, then you’re bound by [read: stuck with] those changes, too, like it or not, whenever you visit our site.

10. If this all sounds kind of mean and undiplomatic, you should have seen what the lawyers gave to us in the first place. We had to remind them that human torture and sacrifice was outlawed in the United States. Boy, did they look disappointed!

Wow, finally made it to the end!  Now don't you feel much better for having gotten all of that off your chest?  Well if you have a thought or a comment (or some spare change - donations always accepted) (we are shameless in that way), let us know.  Send it to:  tim @ mcguinnessdesigns . com

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